God has been obvious about working in my life lately. I am clear on what He is telling me but not clear on how things will unfold. I am approaching the unknown and it scares me yet it thrills me all at once. He's not written on walls but I am getting the point. I've been led to blog about it recently and didn't realize that He would continue to add fuel to that fire. He is clear that He intends for me and my family to live less and give more. I often get tired and wonder what more God wants me to give time-wise. Well - I'm thinking time is not the issue here. We often feel that we sacrifice financially - but now I am clear that what we do is most certainly NOT sacrifice. We have given up some things in order to raise more children. We have not afforded ourselves some luxuries that would be so nice in order to help raise other children. We laugh out loud over the raising of more kids. If you remember or care to read about it here, I have already covered that subject. Recently I blogged about financial stuff here. And most recently I blogged about the conference right here.
God laid a song on my heart and then a verse. I was searching scripture for the right verse that fit my moment and He led me to Zephaniah 3:17. I don't often hear Zephaniah quoted and really liked the verse. Decided that I should memorize it (not quite there yet) and recall it often. Do you believe in co-incidence? Me either? While I was being broken down to a puddle on the floor at the conference Priscilla quoted that same scripture. Hmmm hello! Really? I thought - who quotes that? She spoke to me in ways that I was having a hard time grasping. She talked about sleep walking through entire periods of our lives. Wishing away days, months, years of our lives because we want something more or different. We complain about cranky babies, finances, singleness, pain, illness and countless other areas of our lives that God is at work. We want Him to rush through something that He is refining. Oh my - when are we happy? Are we only happy when things are going as WE choose to orchestrate them? Oh how guilty I was. I was hurting because the pain of losing my mom was so fresh. I was not sure I could handle the emotional strain. I was right - I didn't handle it well - but I survived it and I am so thankful I did.
I learned ways to study scripture that had never been revealed to me. (maybe I'll give you a peak at that later) I just felt like God spoke LOUDLY to me to WAKE UP. I asked and prayed for Him to fill my cup - fill me up and make me whole. Boy did I NOT like His answer. He gently reminded me that I needed to empty out the junk so there would be room for Him. I stated the afternoon I left for the Conference that she would be talking directly to me and boy was I right. It was clear why I was there and what God wanted me to hear. I am nervous of what God's plan is but I pray that I will be ready to listen and follow Him. I am having a little deja view of when my father and mother-in-law died - I stated that whatever God had in store - it was big. We are here again - losing both parents within 16 days and feeling the pull that God has something big planned. I did a big no-no because of it already, but timing was really poor. Two weeks after my father-in-law passed away and one month from my moms was my Oncology check up. Reminiscing that two weeks after my mother-in-law passed away I was diagnosed with breast cancer - I was a no-show for that appointment. Just couldn't do it. I don't feel at all that I have any issues regarding my breast cancer - but I just was not ready or willing to visit that part of my life. Don't worry - I will re-schedule - just not that soon. If that is where God leads then that's where I'll go again - but just not that soon Again!
So - now to this weekend. The topic is "Look Up - giving the results to God!" How fitting is that? One week He tells me to Wake up and the next to Look Up. Oh how I look forward to what God has to say to me again this weekend and see His plans unfold in the life of my family. I just can't hardly stand it. Satan has spent a lot of time working on me through these past six weeks but my God can handle him. I know that the tweet that was just delivered to me phone "be strong in the Lord and the strength of His might" was for a purpose and it was by no means a co-incidence.
Don't know where this road is heading - but I'm in it for the long haul. These pictures show some of the strongest Godliest women I know. They are special and I am thankful to be a part of their lives.
Lunch after the Conference
Cheryl Givens with Priscilla
Donna Dixon with Anthony Evans
Me and Donna with Anthony
Me with Anthony
I love you guys and look forward to seeing lots and lots of you Saturday - let's give those results to God. I feel sure the message will reach beyond me.