Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Guy - Chivalry alive and well!

I often take for granted the things that my guy does. We have been married for 26 years. Dropping him off at his office recently I commented about where he parked. The far side of his company parking lot. This was noteworthy because he arrives at work very early and often parks close to the front door of his building. I commented that he must have been later than usual. He agreed but then added - "it was raining this morning - I wanted to let the ladies park by the door". Yep - he thought that and did it.

I know that he does things like for me but it sure made me proud to be reminded of him treating others that way. He was recently harassed (jokingly) about meeting me to pump the gas in my car. It was very cold outside and he met me to pump the gas to keep me from getting out in the cold to do it. Yes - I am capable of pumping my gas. I am willing to pump my gas. But he is glad to pump gas in my car if it is possible.
The big things that he's endured on my behalf are things that no husband should have to do. He was by my side when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He was also with me for my treatments. He stayed awake with me on that first night of chemo while I threw up all night. He drove me to the ER in the middle of the night after giving up and calling our Doctor. He has a VERY weak stomach but never once complained about helping with my barf bucket. Each and every treatment and shot brought the same result and he endured it with me.

My guy did what no man should have to do. He had to use a razor to finish shaving my hair off after brushing it out. This may not have been so dramatic for everyone, but for me it was major. This was much worse than it should have been. He had to do this task while I sobbed. And sobbed. And Sobbed. Seriously hysterically crying. Not a pretty picture. I can't imagine what the poor guy was thinking. I certainly did not make that an easy task.

My guy has been the rock of our marriage from day one. He put up with some serious hormones from an all girl household. That is a tall order for any man. Those raging hormones are killers. For a long time we even had all female pets. He just couldn't get an ally. He took it all in stride though and put up with (and still does) all of our hormonal days.
Many years ago we went through some very difficult times. I thought he should be the perfect husband (you know because I was the perfect wife - NOT) and his job was to make me happy. I was wrong on all accounts. Although we had issues that we had to work out - the problems were not his fault alone. I didn't respect him in the manner in which a wife should respect her husband. Nag Nag Nag - that was me. Some Godly counsel and a class on Covenant Marriage and things made big changes. We never went through pre-marital counseling. We were kids when we got married (really 18 & 19). God had plans for us and our marriage. He turned two self centered hot headed individuals into a couple. It is his job to love me and protect me. He does that and does that very well. It is not his job to make my life happy. Happiness is a benefit of his love and my relationship with Jesus. Life is not a bed of roses. It's not going to be without trials and difficulties. We are certain of that.

He loves me unconditionally. I am loved and I love him.

Love you all,



Ginny Marie said...

Your husband sounds like a wonderful man! All marriages have ups and's great that you got help when you needed it! Some couples would have just given up.

B said...

What a great man and husband! You also sound like a wonderful woman and wife. Most people don't recognize their own role in the unhappiness around them.

I love your line, "Happiness is a benefit of his love and my relationship with Jesus.". So true!

SurvivorDiane said...

Thanks for the nice comments - B it took me a very long time to recognize my role in happiness.