Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Eye am not seeing clearly today

Do you see things through "Rose colored glasses"? You know seeing only the beauty. Hiding the truth. Listening to the radio recently the song "Rose Colored Glasses" was playing. It made me ponder some of my views and the view of others. A few years ago sitting on the beach with some dear friends enjoying a conversation about our children, the comment was made that one of us (not me) was completely gullible about our children. She immediately said that she did not want to hear the truth - she wanted to believe what she thought. (All good stuff you know?) I am on the opposite spectrum to a fault. I want to know the truth. I need to see the truth. I get very very frustrated when I am deceived about someone or something. I want to see clearly. Websters defines discernment as having a power to see what is not evident to the average mind. My husband, Mike, has this gift. He can see things in people long before I am able to see it. 1 Corinthians 12:10 lists “discerning of spirits” as a spiritual gift. He can often make a swift evaluation of someone or something that was said, that others did not see but yet proved to be correct. It actually drives me insane.

I love Black and White. Either you ARE or you ARE not. Don't ride the fence. Don't tell me one thing, someone else another and yet do something completely different. Jesus doesn't like lukewarm (or grey in this case). The Bible says in Revelation 3:16 that because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. I have thought on this verse many days. I don't want to be lukewarm - but I really really don't want to be cold. But being hot on a consistent basis is very difficult.

I am in a confused state of mind right now. A family member is creating much stress in my life. As is always the case - dear hubby saw through this child long before anyone else. I always had a soft spot for her. And as is always the case it gets me into a situation that is uncomfortable. Heart wrenching actually. Her desires in life are normal - but her effort in reaching those desires is a big zero. We have begged and pleaded for her to seek help - but it falls on deaf ears. She is an adult. She is old enough to understand right from wrong. I have always known that I was being used, but I didn't mind. The benefit that I am receiving is far better than not being used. When I look into the eyes of our precious baby boy and see him smile and hear him giggle when our Owen walks into the room is worth all that we endure.

I'm not wearing Rose Colored Glasses right now. I see clearly and there is no beauty. There is a storm raging and I feel we are in the "eye" of the storm. Hebrews 12: 2-3 tells us Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. I am seeking refuge from the storm in scripture. I am reminding myself that no matter what happens in our lives it pales in comparison to what Jesus endured for you and me. I need to remember this so that I can run this race and not grow weary. Right now I am weary and not sure that I see clearly. If I should suffer for the sake and safety of a little precious baby - then I am doing what I am called upon to do. I just needed to vent and venting is what I am doing here. It is always a risk to involve your heart with a child and your heart gets broken. I can't see the future but God knows it already. He has a plan for our little guy whether that plan includes us or not or whether it includes for a short time or a long time.

So I'm not certain this post makes any sense to you - but if you read it will you take the time to pray about a little baby boy and his parents and for those that care for him. We truly want God's Will and healing for those involved. Spiritual healing and then emotional healing of addictions.

I sure do love you guys and I covet your prayers.

(I couldn't resist the urge to post this)

1 comment:

Ginny Marie said...

What a cutie! I just want to pick him up and cuddle him! I'll pray for that adorable little boy, and for you, too.