Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Rants and Rambles on Tough Love

My thoughts are overflowing on this post. Not sure how to put it into words, but here I go.


There should absolutely be shopping line etiquette. You should never talk loudly on your cell phone while in line – and certainly NOT right into the ear of the person in front of you. Not cool!

There should be a course on cashier etiquette also. When the line is about 10 people deep and you open a register, the proper thing to say is “May I get the NEXT person in line.” Not “I can get you (looking specifically at someone they know five people back) over here.” Leaving the one’s who have been in the line the longest more time to WAIT. It is RUDE people RUDE.


I wondered who should teach this particular etiquette. One would assume the manager of the store would train the cashier. Obviously Not. But what about the parents of the cashier. If this person would have learned manners at an early age – this act would have been a natural act. If the person behind me would have learned manners they most certainly would not want to have a loud conversation over my head. Seriously. Manners. So this leads me to another rant that has been bottled up for quite some time. It is full of opinion but I just feel completely lead to write it down. I really really don’t mean for it to be offensive, yet I fear it may be.

Years ago someone said to me that they could not get their child (around age 10) to go to church. My immediate thought was – wow! Seriously? I didn’t know that 10 year old children could make those decisions. Maybe I missed out on that lesson. I thought that while we were raising children that WE made the decisions about their comings and goings. But it dawned on me that my children never questioned me on such things. We went as a family and that was that. No discussion. We never looked for excuses not to go and never discussed that one or more would skip classes or programs. It was/is what God wants us to do and we do it. No discussion. We actually love it. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." [Proverbs 22:6] This does not say that they will never stray. But it does say to train – and that is directed at us – not at the children. Our example is Why they may or may not want to attend church. (our church).

Make it a point to let them hear you talk about the great things happening in your church. Let them hear how much you've been helped by being in the midst of people with similar beliefs who pray for you and you for them. Many kids are self centered. Train them to love others, to be a blessing to others. Train them to serve. Train them to be leaders – what an awesome experience it is to watch your teen be a leader. To stand firm in their faith no matter the persecution they face. Jesus didn’t pave an easy road for us. It’s tough time keeping our teens involved and active in youth activities. Bro. Bart once taught during a sermon that it was a privilege to raise “an honorable student rather than an honor student”. So true. Grades are important – but the love of God in their lives is eternal.

I’m just saddened today by so many allowing their children/youth dictate to the household. Tough love is almost unbearable some days. I am speaking from direct experience. When God puts us in charge and we don’t get in charge – destruction is inevitable. I have watched it – I’ve lived it. My parents over-loved. They allowed us to make decisions that we should not have been allowed to make. Praise God that I knew Jesus and had a relationship with Him. I wanted boundaries from my parents. I wanted their leadership. That was not the case with all of my siblings.

I feel strongly about following God and not our children. It is so much easier to allow them to make their own decisions. To manipulate us into believing they know best. God gave everything for His children. He suffered and died a brutal death. He did not take the easy road. He Never once faltered in order to please His children. He stood firm and went to the cross for us. How on earth can we do anything less than stand firm with our children? We are the parents. Be the parents. Train by example. Love tough.

Do we wonder why our churches are weakening? Could we not look in the mirror and see? I know I can.

Know that I love you guys.


Ginny Marie said...

I keep telling my neighbor to bring her daughter to church NOW! Her daughter is 19 months old, and it's challenging to handle kids in church. But we've brought our daughters to church ever since they were born, and while they are by no means perfect, they have learned how to behave in church and know they are expected to be in church! (I'm a pastor's daughter, so going to church was never an option!)

I'm also a breast cancer survivor! I found you in a discussion on Blogfrog. You're welcome to visit my blog anytime!

SurvivorDiane said...

Hey - just read over you blog. Looks great - glad you are a survivor!