Monday, April 26, 2010

Monday Memories - Deborah

Monday Memories – Deborah

She was described as having “the gift of gab”. We can all chuckle on that one. For those of us that knew and loved Deborah know that to be true, but also know that we all have it as well. She could tell a story. When she told you a story it was the “whole” story. She had a distinct voice that stood out from others. She always started out a phone conversation with “hey this is Deborah” as if I didn’t already know from “hey” who was calling! I’m pretty positive that I never lunched with her that she didn’t take a call from or make a call to Amanda. She was the light of her mom’s life. Amanda gifted her with a sweet grandson, Grayson, which gave her so much joy. Glenn and Deborah were inseparable. Time spent with them was never dull. There were jokes and stories and lots and lots of laughter. Everything was at break neck speed. They only knew fast motion. Deborah never ever did something half heartedly. I never make a dessert using chocolate and think – oh Deborah won’t eat this. I’ve never know anyone that would not eat chocolate. No chocolate of any kind. She was a one of a kind in many ways. I could share story after story that would keep you in stitches, but my point in sharing about Deborah is to remind us to Never take for granted a true friend.

The phone call from my boss on New Years Day about the tragic accident was life changing for me. I could never again call and talk to Deborah. I could not go to lunch or go shopping with her. We could not solve the world’s problems together. She and I had not spent much time together the previous year. I was raising new children and she was busy with job change and biking and whatever else she could do to stay busy. Our lives were moving in different directions for a time. I was busy in my own world. I was losing my dear friend, Connie, and was not making time to nurture friendships with others. She would call and check on me and Connie. I would give her updates and that was that. She was reaching out to me to support me and I was merely accepting her friendship but not really appreciating the gestures. She emailed me wanting an update on Connie’s condition and suggested we get together and catch up. She wanted to know how all of my children were doing and what everyone was up to. In my own self absorbed world I just promptly responded with an update on everyone. That was that – I felt that was sufficient. After all, I was busy and didn’t have time to spend visit. I had things to do. It was the holiday. I had gifts to buy, wrap and prepare for Christmas. My house needed a good cleaning for Christmas guests, goodies to be cooked. I was simply busy. I, in all my glory, had my own agenda and didn’t need to add anything to it. So – I wrote that email and sent it off and felt accomplished. After all, there would be time for catching up after the holidays. You know the feeling, there is always tomorrow.

Deborah called me faithfully during those last days of Connie’s life. She stopped by the hospital when she knew I was there. She came, both to check on Connie and to support me in my grief of losing a dear friend. One week prior to her own death, she attended Connie’s funeral. She sought me out at the service to hug me and tell me she loved me. She wanted to know if I was ok. I assured her I was and that we would get together after the holidays. I was ready to make time for my friend. That time was not to be. When I received that call about Deborah’s death, I was numb. I sat in silence for several hours pondering the loss and the grief that Glenn would be going through. My heart ached like never before. I was filled with grief and with guilt. I had avoided spending time with my friend and could not go back and change it. The opportunity was lost forever. My heart hurt for Glenn and Amanda and I simply could not begin to imagine the grief that they were feeling. She was the center of their world. As evidenced by her visitation, she knew and loved everyone. She had touched the lives of more people that I could count. She was a blessing to so many. She served and ministered to people on a daily basis. She was a go-getter and she was my friend. I hear her voice regularly. I miss her often. Her death taught me a valuable lesson in life. Never take for granted your friends and family. Express to them how much they mean to you and how much you love them. Losing Deborah changed me. It brought reality front and center. I know that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I know that we must cherish our loved ones. I know that we must make time for them. There is peace and there is hope where we think there is hopelessness. Romans 5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We are called to love one another. I Peter 4:8 tells us to “Love one another deeply.” Deborah loved deeply. I long to love deeply just as scripture suggests and just as she did. She left me that legacy. No other scripture tells it better than I Corinthians 13.
1If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Tell someone you love them today. Know that I love you and am praying for you today.

Love to all,


Jason and Stacy Cole said...

Amen, we miss her greatly!

Anonymous said...

This is such a touching and precious remembrance of Deborah. Even though I do not know her, I feel I know her love and affection. Thank you for sharing this amazing story...I will tell my loved ones how much I love and care for them.